It has happened in a few instances in the general Amed area that a European woman has come here, fallen in love with one of the gorgeous local boys, married him, and then either opened a resort here or taken the fresh new hubbie back to Europe with her. These cases have lead to a very bizarre and twisted view on relationships with western women, spawning a generation of super-buffed, tan and gorgeous young beachboy ‘gigolos’ prowling the beach for their future western brides.
These Amed area beachboys actually come from local fishing families. Some of them were former fishermen themselves who have learned a bit of English, or French, and have abandoned their fishing boats in favor of hunting western women on the hopes of improving their lives via sex and/or marriage. I guess I can’t blame them for wanting to escape poverty and a life of heavy physical work on the sea and fields, especially when they’re constantly exposed to much more affluent tourists passing through, staying at the local boutique resorts and spending money on diving, eating, sailing and snorkeling. Exposure to these tourists really emphasizes their own local poverty. I guess I have to give them credit for at least dreaming to improve their lot in the world.
Of course, it would seem more normal, more worthy to attempt that by finding a new job, learning a new skill, shifting into a new profession rather than by ‘gold digging’, ‘hopping on the backs’ of women tourists to rise up in the world. In Amed there are, after all, several boutique resorts, restaurants, dive shops and other businesses here employing local staff. So, there are, in fact, many locals who hold steady jobs at these places. Certainly not all Amed residents are scrambling to find a western bride!
But there also exists a fairly large group of young men whose sole tactic for moving up in the world is to capture a western woman and ‘piggy back’ her to a better life. Only guys able to master English- or perhaps French- to a reasonable conversational level have a chance at this tactic. Probably this is the main reason most of the local fishermen stick to fishing and farming. They just don’t speak any English. But those who do set about on a daily basis trying to meet tourists to rent them snorkels; arrange sailing or hiking trips or transport to other parts of Bali; direct them to various dive shops to gain some commission and so on. Their secret hope, and alterior motive, though, is to find their western bride who will rocket them to wealth and glamour.
Too bad that’s the extent of their charms and talents. They look good, but that’s about it! They aren’t educated, never read, never learn or study. Forget about intelligent conversations. Forget, also, about fantastic love-making: They really don’t even have the concept of ‘pleasing a woman in bed’! Jump to intercourse as quickly as possible and sustain yourself as long as possible is their understanding of sex. Great for men, perhaps, but certainly not what a woman wants in bed!!
3. This year, the guy I got involved with also started our romance off almost immediately- on the second night- by begging me to buy him a motorbike! He actually said, just after sex, “Oh, Lash, whew, ahh, I’m soo tired. Wow- 2 hours of sex. You buy me motorbike!” Honestly, that bluntly. Well! At least I knew, quite clearly, what he was after. I certainly wasn’t going for any of that. I looked at him as if he were crazy, and asked him if he was a prostitute. That opened his eyes! A rather long ‘discussion’ ensued (attempted persuasion in fact) in which he tried his best to convince me to buy him a bike- for his 2 hours of ‘servicing’ (pretty goddam expensive screw!) to which I continued telling him he was crazy, was acting like a prostitute, and that I never paid for sex. I also pointed out that he was the lucky one, getting to sleep with a beautiful white western woman. He eventually shut up. And, for me, that was the end of that romance. Short and sweet: 3 days. What had I been thinking, there in Amed?!
Within a couple weeks, she was telling me, with big smiles, that it was fine for her husband to have a girlfriend. And that he liked me. She told me, “50% for me. 50% for you” !?! Now I’ve always thought I was very open-minded about relationships and sex, but this was pretty much a head fuck! Whew…. Before long, both of them were suggesting I marry him and move in to their family compound! Eh??? Needless to say, I did not take them up on the offer.
I’ve since been told that generally it seems to be ok with wives if their husband gets involved with a western woman. Most likely they expect the new girlfriend/ wife is wealthy and will spend lots of money, not only on her lover, but on his family and relatives as well.
As I mentioned above, what these guys are hoping for is one of two outcomes. A western woman who will marry him, move here and buy land, house, motorbike and/or business. Or a wife who will whisk him off to her own country, a new life of luxury in the western world.
I personally know of 2 women who’ve married local guys and taken them back to Europe where they live and work. And I know one western woman who’s married a local and built a very nice boutique resort here in Amed. These are the real life cases that keep up the hopes of the beachboys, but which have left them believing that THAT is the natural normal course of things, and has made them quite demanding, actually expecting instant riches from the western women they get involved with. It has created a very strange and twisted mentality among the people of Amed, Bali.
So girls coming to Amed, Bali, beware the wolves… or enjoy finding your beachboy dream husband, as you see fit.